I Hate You
by DetectiveKyle
Summary: Kokichi Oma is a prankster who couldn’t care less about his schoolwork. Himiko Yumeno is a magician who is focused and won’t let idiots get in her way. The two of them are paired up for a project as their semester grade at Hope’s Peak Academy. What could go wrong? (Rated T for language and Miu)
1. horse a

I Hate You! Chapter 1: horse a

* * *

"Kokichi. Wake up."

"Huh?"

Kokichi Oma, the Ultimate Supreme Leader, opened his eyes. He was in a puddle of his own drool on the hard wooden desk. Shuichi Saiahara, the Ultimate Detective, stood next to his desk, his gaze harsh.

"Class is over, Kokichi. Get up before Monodam makes you get up." Shuichi sighed.

"Oh! Sorry Shuichi!" Kokichi leapt up and grabbed his things. "The lesson was just soooooooo booooooring today. I couldn't keep myself awake!" He laughed.

The Detective frowned. "You slept through every period yesterday, too. Now hurry up. I have to drive you to the dorms today, and I need to meet Kaede after school."

"For a date?"

"No. For a project. The group project." Shuichi pulled his hat over his eyes.

Kokichi raised an eyebrow. "What group project? I never heard about any group project."

"That would be because you've been asleep for the past two class days, Oma."

Maki Harukawa, the Ultimate Child Caregiver, stood in the corner. Her gaze cut through Kokichi.

"A-ah! Maki, don't scare me like that!" He jumped.

Shuichi sighed. "She has to wait on Kaito. They're partners for the project."

Kokichi raised his eyebrow again. "So? What about this project?"

Maki spoke up this time. "It's a project where we have to merge our talents with our partner in a way that effectively displays human nature. At the end of the semester we'll have a showcase and we'll be graded based on our scores from the other classes. 77 and 78 will be judging ours, and vice versa."

Kokichi sighed. "Ugh. That sounds like a lot of work. I might just bullshit my part like I always do."

"Your partner won't like that," Maki retorted.

"What?"

Shuichi lifted his hat up. "We were randomly selected in pairs. Me and Kaede, Maki and Kaito, Ryoma and Keebo, Tsumugi and Angie, Kiyo and Gonta, Miu and Tenko, and Kirumi and Rantaro."

Kokichi's expression sank. "Wait... that means I have..."

"Himiko." Maki and Shuichi both spoke at the same time.

Himiko Yumeno, the Ultimate Magician. Famous for her head in the clouds and obsessing over "magic," she and Kokichi were quite at odds. Though they were both quite lazy, that was where the similarities ended. Himiko was serious and cared about her work and reputation. Kokichi was carefree and did not.

He blinked. Then facepalmed. "God dammit! I can't bullshit my way through this!"

Shuichi laughed. "Himiko will kill you if you ruin her reputation. She means buisness about this project, Kokichi."

Kokichi sighed. Shuichi handed him a slip of paper. "She left her Hope's Peak Chat ID for you since you were asleep. She told me to tell you to message her about it when you had the chance."

Kokichi sighed. "Alright. Let's go then."

He rose from his desk. The three of them left the classroom.

* * *

Kokichi walked in and sat on his bed in the dorm. Gonta Gokuhara, the Ultimate Entomologist, and his roommate, was nowhere to be seen. _I guess he had work to do with Kiyo,_ he thought. He looked at the chat ID Shuichi had given him.

 _Guess I might as well, just to fuck with her._

* * *

 **[The Ultimate Supreme Leader (Kokichi Oma) has requested to be friends with the Ultimate Magician (Himiko Yumeno)]**

 **[The Ultimate Magician (Himiko Yumeno) has accepted. Start a chat?]**

 **Oma: heeeeeeeey himiko!**

 **Yumeno: oh. oma.**

 **Yumeno: shuichi gave you the briefing?**

 **Oma: yep! and im ready to work!**

 **Yumeno: ...that's a lie.**

 **Oma: oof! you got me lmaoooooooo**

 **Oma: i totally wanna bullshit this project**

 **Yumeno: you're not allowed to.**

 **Oma: but i dont wanna work**

 **Yumeno: I don't care.**

 **Yumeno: my reputation as the ultimate mage is resting on this project.**

 **Yumeno: everyone will laugh at me if this is a bust because of you.**

 **Oma: calm yourself little miss magic**

 **Oma: my projects always get perfect marks**

 **Oma: or have you forgotten the science fair?**

 **Yumeno: nyeh...**

 **Yumeno: screw you for that! that was supposed to be mine...**

 **Oma: just saying**

 **Yumeno: well we need to meet up at some point to get started!**

 **Oma: dont we have the whooooooooooole semester? :P**

 **Yumeno: you're right...**

 **Yumeno: tenko is just pushing me to get started as soon as possible.**

 **Yumeno: she wants me to be done with this project as soon as possible.**

 **Yumeno: since you're a degenerate male or something like that.**

 **Oma: oh no!**

 **Oma: youve been afflicted by the godawful-lesbian-chabashira-neo-aikido-feminism curse!**

 **Yumeno: she's reading this...**

 **Yumeno: you're dead in class tomorrow.**

 **Oma: not if i skip and she cant catch me ;D**

 **Oma: gonta lets me read his notes anyway so theres no reason for me to go to class!**

 **Yumeno: we get class time to come up with ideas you know**

 **Yumeno: you're not going to waste it and make me look like an idiot**

 **Oma: maybe ill show up once her and miu leave the room**

 **Yumeno: whatever**

 **Yumeno: just**

 **Yumeno: be ready to start i guess**

* * *

Kokichi laughed to himself. He knew how to get under everyone's skin. And he knew not even Tenko was ballsy enough to break into Gonta's room. Gonta was the nicest guy ever, but trying to break into his room where he kept his bugs was a death sentence.

A knock on the door. "Speak of the devil-"

"Kokichi!" the teddy bear of a man, Gonta, entered the room. "You made it home today without Monodam beating you up!"

Kokichi frowned. "Thanks for noticing, Gonta."

Gonta laughed. "Gonta was out working with Kiyo on project. We decide to have exhibit on bugs that ancient cultures used in rituals! Or at least that what Kiyo suggested. It sound cool!"

Kokichi smiled. "Himiko and I are already all the way done with our project. We finished it in two days!"

"WHAT!? ALREADY!?" Gonta looked astounded.

"Just kidding!" Kokichi busted out laughing.

Gonta frowned. "You scared Gonta, Kokichi. You make Gonta think he behind!"

"Nah, you're not behind. You're good. We actually haven't started at all."

Gonta smiled and laughed. "That sound more like Kokichi and Himiko!"

Kokichi shrugged. "I don't know when we're going to work on it. I guess whenever I feel like it. Oh, and-" he looked up at Gonta. "-don't tell anyone why I'm skipping class tomorrow. I trust you can show me your notes after?"

Gonta frowned and raised an eyebrow. "Gonta suspicious. But okay. Kokichi can see Gonta's notes."

"Thanks." Kokichi suddenly remembered that he had an appointment. He rushed to the door. "I'm headed out for a little while."

"See you later."

Gonta kept his eyebrow raised as Kokichi left the room. He left often, but never this abruptly.

* * *

Kokichi sighed as he leaned against the vending machine in the back of the music room.

Another figure approached. Kokichi looked up.

It was Nagito Komaeda, the Ultimate Lucky Student of Class 77. He was holding two cans; one of Mountain Dew for himself, and one of Grape Panta for Kokichi. Kokichi took the Panta and started to drink.

"Thanks for showing up, Komaeda," Kokichi smirked. "I have a favor to ask."

"What would that be?" Nagito grinned. "What would be so important that the Ultimate Supreme Leader would need MY help? You've already graced me with your presence, but you need my help?"

Kokichi waved him off. "I have a proposal. From one troublemaker to another."

Nagito raised an eyebrow. "I tend to not think of myself as a troublemaker. I like to think of myself as a stepping-"

"Yeah, yeah, the stepping stone thing. Listen. I need you to assist me. I want all the dirt that you have on all your classmates."

"Why?"

"I'm conducting an investigation of sorts behind the scenes. Rest assured, there's something in it for you. A fanboy like you could only want one thing from me."

Nagito's eyes widened. "You don't mean..."

Kokichi smirked again. "You get free access to DICE, all of its records, and become an honorary member for supporting the Ultimate Supreme Leader in his private investigations."

"I'll tell you all of it! Anything to see the legendary secret organization, DICE, in all its glory with the Ultimate Supreme Leader at its command!" Nagito's eyes widened and he jumped up and down a little.

"That's what I like to hear, Komaeda. Now, that information..."

* * *

Kokichi entered his dorm quietly. Gonta was already asleep. Nagito had had a lot of dirt on Class 77 and a little on Class 78. Kokichi had written down every last word.

He put on his captain's hat and cape, then stepped in front of his dresser.

Pulling the top handle and placing his finger on a pad on the wall, a secret passage revealed itself. Every dorm had a secret passage to the Ultimate Labs of its inhabitants.

Kokichi stepped onto the staircase and walked into his Lab. Scattered across its Batcave-esque design were childish blueprints and boards detailing all sorts of information on every student from the three classes he knew personally.

He took out the notes he had recieved from Nagito and sorted them accordingly.

 _That should do it for now. Komaeda had more dirt on them then I realized. I guess that's to be expected from an Ultimate fanatic. He sure has kept extensive tabs on his classmates._

 _Maybe this can help me in my investigation_. He shook his head. _I got Komaeda to keep quiet by promising him membership. But others may not keep so quiet about it if they find this place._

Lightly smiling, Kokichi put his head down on the table.

Before he knew it, he was asleep.


	2. Underwater Escape Trick

Chapter 2- Underwater Escape Trick

* * *

Himiko sighed and sat up. Her roomate, Tenko Chabashira, the Ultimate Aikido Master, lay snoring in the other bed.

 _She's so loud... What a pain... There's no way I'm getting back to sleep._

She yawned and got up out of her bed. The clock read 12:30 AM. Way into nighttime.

What Kokichi had told her earlier troubled her; that he planned to do none of the work. Knowing him, that was probably a lie. But you never knew with Kokichi. Some said he had a better poker face than even the Ultimate Gambler in Class 78.

Naturally, that made him infuriating to work with, unless you were someone like Shuichi.

Himiko grabbed her cape and slipped on her school uniform. _I should go get a drink. Something to keep me awake._

She opened the door and exited into the hallway. The most commonly-known drink machine was the one in the music building, so Himiko went in that direction.

Opening the door to the music building and stepping inside, Himiko found the drink machine. Not paying attention, she stepped next to it, and on to a certain someone.

"Ow!" It was Nagito, huddled up next to the machine with a wool blanket wrapped around him.

"Komaeda!? What the heck?" Himiko leapt and jumped back as the boy stood. He then leapt back in the same amount of shock.

"H-Himiko!? I-I'm so sorry, I had no idea anyone would be here so late! Please forgive my indecent, messy appearance before you!" He spoke quickly, bowing multiple times before trying to straighten out the mess of hair sitting atop his head.

"Don't worry about any of that," Himiko sighed. "You just startled me, is all."

 _And I may have peed a little..._ she thought with a blush creeping onto her face.

"It's so surprising to see anyone here, admittedly. Normally I come here whenever Fuyuhiko kicks me out of our room (which is often), since no one ever comes by. What are you doing up so late? In your uniform, no less?"

Himiko averted her gaze to the sweet coffee in the machine. "I couldn't sleep, so I decided to get ready and get something to drink."

Nagito nodded slowly before following her gaze to the coffee and looking as though he had an epiphany. "Ah! You're an avid drinker of this sweet coffee, are you not? Why don't I buy it for you?" He took out a bill and placed it at the machine.

"N-no, it's fine! I can do it myself!"

"Nonsense." Nagito smiled warmly and slid the money into the machine, pressing the button for the sweet coffee. "Consider it my apology for startling you. I'd do anything for a true Ultimate, for my only purpose is to be a stepping stone for hope, to make all Ultimates even more Ultimate than ever before!" He took the can out of the machine once it fell to the bottom.

Before she took the coffee, Himiko eyed Nagito's sleep setup. There was a dark green wool blanket placed messily on the carpet, with a stack of his clothing off to the side. On top of the stack was a card and a cape.

 _A card... and a cape?_

"What's that?" Himiko pointed towards the stack, specifically the items in question.

"Oh, this?" Nagito laughed. "That's my official membership card and cape for D.I.C.E. It's such an honor, and I've barely been able to sleep because if my excitement!"

Himiko warily raised her eyebrow. "D.I.C.E.? You mean Kokichi's wierdo prankster cult? How'd you get into that? I heard only his best friends from when he was little got into that." That was true. Shuichi had told her all about them when Kokichi brought them on Talent Demonstration Day the day of their freshman orientation. Needless to say, the pranksters left no hallway untouched; pranks were still found in strange places to this day.

"I simply did him a favor, and his gratitude extended to someone as insignificant as me! To think, that my obsession with the Ultimates would prove useful to someone!" Nagito had the eyes of a madman as he cackled.

 _Obession with the Ultimates? Wait a second... does that mean Kokichi asked for dirt on all of the students? Is that what he means?_

Himiko sat lost in thought, trying to decipher the meaning behind what Nagito said. She grabbed the can of coffee from Nagito and scurried to the door.

"Bye, Nagito! Thanks!" She left in a hurry, leaving Nagito to his setup.

He smiled. "You're so very welcome, Ultimate Magician. You're so welcome."

* * *

Himiko scuttled back to the dorm building, still thinking about what Nagito had said. Was it true that Kokichi had commissioned Nagito to gather information on the Ultimates? If so, for what purpose?

 _Most importantly, what if Kokichi finds out the secret behind my magic!? He'd ruin all the fun for everyone if he knew! What if he uses it at the last minute to ruin our project!? Ugh, he's so confusing!_

Fuming, Himiko arrived at the partition in the first hallway. She began to walk down the girls' side before stopping and staring at the boys' side.

 _Could I try to find out? Nyeh... that'd be so much work... but... the fate of my magic show is at stake here! Kokichi might ruin my magic show!_

With a swift turnaround, Himiko hurried down the boys' hallway.

She passed each dorm on the first floor before heading to the second. She found Nagito and Fuyuhiko's room, the door looking quite beat up. Sighing, she moved up to the third floor, where her class's dorms were.

She carefuly watched the doors as she passed by each room, scanning nameplates for the familiar smirk of the Ultimate Supreme Leader.

 _Kiyo and Ryoma... Keebo and Rantaro... Shuichi and Kaito... ah! Kokichi and Gonta!_

Himiko approached the door, raising her fist to knock before moving it back down to her side.

 _No! I can't knock! They'll hear me!_

Of course, there was the possibility of them hearing her even if she tried to sneak past them in their beds, but that was a better alternative to either of them knowing.

She made sure to open her can of coffee quickly outside the room, before she slowly and quietly turned the doorknob.

 _Please be unlocked, please be unlocked..._

 _Click!_

The door to the room slid open, and Himiko exhaled heavily. Gonta probably didn't know how to lock a door, and Kokichi was way to lazy to even get out of the bed to do so, so she had figured that the door would be easy.

The difficult part would be finding the information she was looking for.

She stepped into the room, careful to not make a sound on the floorboards with her shoes. Scanning the room, she noticed the gaping hole in the wall. A hole that looked all too familiar, and was much to fine to be the result of a fight or prank.

 _The Ultimate Lab. I wonder whose it is..._

She turned to the beds and saw Gonta, completely passed out and snoring loudly. Kokichi's bed, she noticed, was empty and made.

 _That must be his lab... I hope he won't notice..._

Himiko tiptoed to the door and started down the stairs. They made no sound, she noticed, as they appeared to be made of a dense metal that she had never seen in any other lab, save for Kaito's. Even then, Kaito's lab hadn't had this type of material in it.

She reached the bottom and touched the ground, scanning the walls of the lab. There was high-tech equipment and gear on every wall. Prankster equipment, a brand new RC helicopter, a- WAS THAT A FUCKING CAR!?

Himiko stared, jaw wide, at the contents of the lab, the amount of which seemed to rival even all of her magician's equipment. She turned to the large table to her right, and saw, underneath the enormous D.I.C.E. logo...

Kokichi, out cold, drooling on the table with a stuffed manilla folder in his hand.

She let out another heavy exhale in relief. Kokichi was asleep, and that made her job a thousand times easier.

A shelf lined the side of the lab, packed with manilla folders of similar girth to the one currently enclosed in his hand.

Himiko scanned the wall of files, noticing a gold nameplate underneath each folder. She read a few as she went down the line.

 _Makoto Naegi... Byakuya Togami... Nagito Komaeda... Nekomaru Nidai... Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu... Kaede Akmatsu... Rantaro Amami... Angie Yonaga..._

She found the nameplate that had the name "Himiko Yumeno." Her heart stopped. The folder wasn't on the shelf.

 _Which means..._

She turned and looked at the folder in Kokichi's hand. Sure enough, there was a picture on the front that resembled her nameplate on her dorm entrance. In letters underneath were the words "Himiko Yumeno: Ultimate Magician."

She gulped and took the folder on Nagito off the shelf.

 _Be like Indiana Jones. Isn't that the archaeology-themed action movie that Shuichi and Kaito went to see? I think so. They said something about a switcheroo with a bag that was the same weight as an idol. Nagito's folder is about the same girth as mine. This should work, right?_

Himiko snuck next to him, Nagito's folder in hand, waiting for the moment when his grip would loosen up.

A loud snore rang out and Kokichi's hand softened for a split second. Himiko snatched the folder and replaced it with Nagito's. Some of her coffee flew out and landed near his head. Kokichi's fist tightened around it and remained as he was before.

She breathed a sigh of relief and began flipping through her folder.

 _General Information... Personal Noticings... Habits... Aha! Magic Tricks..._

She opened up to the thickest part of the folder, a file detailing every single trick she had ever performed. Slowly removing the section and replacing it with a stack of blank paper, she placed the folder back on the shelf.

 _I'll read through this back in my room._

Himiko snuck back up the stairs, past Gonta, through the hallway, and arrived back at the girl's dorm. She clicked the door shut and locked it, lying in her bed.

A flashlight in hand, Himiko began to scan through Kokichi's notes. They were long and detailed; she would have to finish them over a few days.

It was worth it, though, to keep her secrets out of the hands of that madman.

 _I'm the Ultimate Mage, not the Ultimate Magician. No one can ever find out the secrets behind my tricks. The happiness and joy of the magic community depends on it._

A small smile on her face, Himiko read the notes in the darkness and sipped her sweet coffee, the notes illuminated only by her flashlight, her ears hearing only the snores of Tenko next to her.


End file.
